Pubblicato in: Unione Europea

The Brief: Jean-Claude est mort.

Giuseppe Sandro Mela.

2017-03-08.

Tomba_002

«There’s something fishy going on in Brussels. Jean-Claude is dead»

*

«EU institutions plunged into mourning as it emerged he had shuffled off this mortal Koi-l. We’re sorry to carp on but the loss has bowled us all over»

*

«The first tributes came from Luxembourg, as one would expect.  “He lived his life in full transparency,” one official tweeted»

*

«It’s time the scales fell from your eyes. We are not talking about Jean-Claude Juncker, the president of the European Commission, but Jean-Claude, the European Council goldfish»

* * * * * * *

Il commento potrebbe essere: “uno di meno”. Tanto il pesce lo si compra inscatolato altrove….

Però, diamo atto a Jean-Claude di essere stato il più silenzioso essere vivente negli uffici della Unione Europea.

Almeno uno che non abbia detto nefandezze e che mangiava solo il necessario per vivere. 


Euractiv. 2017-03-03. The Brief: Jean-Claude est mort

There’s something fishy going on in Brussels. Jean-Claude is dead.

EU institutions plunged into mourning as it emerged he had shuffled off this mortal Koi-l. We’re sorry to carp on but the loss has bowled us all over.

The first tributes came from Luxembourg, as one would expect.  “He lived his life in full transparency,” one official tweeted.

A European Commission spokeswoman gravely intoned, “It is with deep sadness that we have learnt about the passing of Jean-Claude. May cod bless him.”

A spokesman added, “We hope the person responsible will be found gill-ty.”

It’s time the scales fell from your eyes. We are not talking about Jean-Claude Juncker, the president of the European Commission, but Jean-Claude, the European Council goldfish.

Sorry to reel you in. Did you fall for it, hook, line and sinker?

Jean-Claude was a present to the Council press team from the staff at the Luxembourg presidency of the EU, which ended on 31 December 2015.

Everything was going swimmingly, until a few weeks ago. Jean-Claude, who lived in the office at the centre of European power-politics, died.

His passing was marked with a short, tearful ceremony, proving that not all EU officials are cold fish.

Quo Vadis goldfish? He’s gone to a better plaice. Sources, though, were tight-lipped about the method used to dispose of the body.

Wat-er shame, but the truth will be flushed out sooner or later.

First Brexit and now this! Jean-Claude’s demise may have been suppressed in the greater interests of the European project. But Brussels is like a goldfish bowl, nothing stays secret for long.

Expect more tributes to flood in over the weekend from the likes of Jyrki Katainfin, Nicola Sturgeon, Margaritfish Schinas and Fishtalina Georgieva.

RIP Jean-Claude. You will never be forgotten.  At least not for the next three seconds.

Annunci